Master Of The House

2003-12-04T02:27:00.000Z

I've got a new mobile. It's a Sony Ericsson T160. So far it's got me well confused. Seems OK though. Do you remember when we didn't have mobiles? What a happy world.

2003-12-03T21:00:00.000Z

This morning Doris and I called in the local cafe for a breakfast. It was shite! Why is it so hard to find good bacon these days? Whatever it was on that plate it wasn't bacon. Pale, watery, pink(ish), limp crap.

2003-12-02T20:18:00.000Z

Whatever it is that's kicking about, I'm sick of it. I've felt like shit for days now, coughing till I throw up, aching all over. I already take more tablets than Moses and coupled with constant Lemsip (and Brandy) I'm thoroughly fed up. Moan.

2003-12-02T04:24:00.000Z

A while ago someone suggested I relax with a bit of Bonzo Dog music. Bloody good idea. It helps. Cornology does the trick.

2003-12-01T00:33:00.000Z

As usual, in the run up to Christmas, the pub goes a bit quiet as folks realise how much the festive season is going to cost. Tonight's been no exception, it's been like watching paint dry. The "cribbage four" were in, four guys who come in every Sunday to sit and play cribbage, a card game that is still very popular round these parts. They moan. If the pub's full they moan. If they consider the music too loud or a little too lively for their taste, they moan. Should anybody in the pub be enjoying thereselves they moan. It's been the same for the past six years. When we leave, I doubt these particular four guys will notice. As long as someone is behind the bar to dispense "Two Bodds" every twenty minutes or so it could be anybody. In six years Doris and I have failed to get anywhere near these people. My mate Gary was in (he's ALWAYS in!) sinking many pints of Tetley's. Sitting with him at the tap room bar was "Hodgy", a member of the pub's football team. Hodgy was well oiled having been in since one o' clock. Hodgy is the nicest kid you could wish to meet, a street philosopher with simple, basic, opinions. Every other word he utters has four letters or so and rhymes with "fuck". He is, in his words "thick as pigshit". He's not thick at all, just uneducated. He can hardly read and write but has a quick wit and can have you in stitches. You really can't help liking the guy.

Jo, one of our regulars, was in this afternoon. She appeared to be in the early stages of labour when she left, so we'll see what happens. She's a week or so late so this should be it. I'll let you know.

2003-11-24T03:30:00.000Z

Friday's Children In Need night went well. I finished up dressing as Fred Flinstone. It seemed to work. There were some great costumes, a bin Laden lookalike, Adolf Hitler, a very sexy Spanish lady (Doris), a cowboy complete with saddle and very loud gun. Joint third place in the competition went to Averil who was dressed as a clown (I found her very sexy for some reason) and Kevin who was dressed as a typical gangster/spiv type. They won a bottle of Archers and some nice Belgian chocolates respectively. It was a night for joint results so second place went to John and Michelle, winning a bottle of Baileys also containing coffee for combining the two. John made a perfect Alice Cooper in bondage gear and makeup complete with home-made snake around his neck. Michelle, John's partner, dressed as Anna-Frid of Abba, also giving us some nice karaoke. Simon and Sarah were clear winners. Simon took up half the bar dressed as a pint of Carling lager, a three foot diameter brim at neck level made up of cotton wool to represent the head (it made excellent sense as Simon had plenty of room to stand and drink as no one could get anywhere near him. Sarah was dressed as a bag of cheese and onion Walkers crisps (it looked a lot better than it sounds!). They won a video recorder. After an hour and a half of karaoke it was time for my mate Gary to have his beard shaved and chest waxed. Believe me, the waxing was painful, Gary yelling his head off as the strips were pulled off. Without the 'tache and beard he looked like a "slapped arse".
After his ordeal was over and much applause was duly given, folks turned on me, suggesting I lose my moustache and beard also. This idea did not sit well with me, the chin not having seen the light of day for seven years and the moustache having been firmly in place since a drunken argument led to its demise in the Isle of Man in 1978.
I suggested that some money would have to be donated first as I wasn't prepared to reveal long unchartered chin for nothing. The pot soon hit thirty quid and in an attempt to raise some more money I said I'd rather match the money myself to keep my facial hair. A further whip-round brought it up to fifty-three quid and I went under the razor to cheers. We had a really good night and in total raised about five hundred quid mainly thanks to Gary's sponsorship efforts.

2003-11-22T20:47:00.000Z

The things you do when you're bored.

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
Category	Your Score	Average
Self-Lovin'	68.3% Explored the pleasures of the flesh	65.1%
Shamelessness	90.5% Has yet to see self in mirror	79.3%
Sex Drive	86.8% The Pope is envious	77.7%
Straightness	14.3% Knows the other body type like a map	45.1%
Gayness	98.2% Repressed, are we?	83.3%
Fucking Sick	94.7% Refreshingly normal	89.9%
You are 74.94% pure Average Score: 72.6%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test and see how you match up!

2003-11-20T21:24:00.000Z

Don't leave me folks! I ain't finished yet. It's just that things are pretty weird at the moment.

2003-11-13T02:27:00.000Z

What sacrilege is this?

2003-11-11T20:43:00.000Z

Someone's coming to have a look at the pub tomorrow. This could be it folks!

However, we're still here at the moment and are having a fancy dress party for Children In Need. My mate Gary is being sponsored to have his beard shaved and his chest waxed (it's a hell of a chest, he's 24 stone!). Various other things will go off on the night, I'm sure. I was just wondering what costume to wear. I want it to look good but I've got to host the karaoke etc. and will need fingers available and mouth. I need my mouth for drinking purposes anyway! What's a good costume? Any ideas friends?

2003-11-07T20:45:00.000Z

Thanks Pink.

Especially the ones that go off right after you've sat down, and spray your ass. Dont'cha just hate that?

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

2003-11-03T02:17:00.000Z

We're saved! Finally science has been able to come up with something really important.

2003-11-01T21:26:00.000Z

Sorry for being a bit erratic of late. I do feel a long post coming on but I can't seem to get it out.

2003-11-01T20:44:00.000Z

Read this.It's a good article proving what most of us knew all along. via J-Walk.

2003-10-24T19:45:00.000Z

We're still in the pub. It's a long story but we could be here for a few more weeks yet. The Prozac helps but the trouble is I don't seem to give a shit about anything.

2003-10-24T19:38:00.000Z

Overheard on a local street yesterday, during an on-street shouting match:
"You're only shouting and threatening me 'cause I'm black."
"No I'm not, ya fuckin' nigger."

It's an education living round here.

2003-10-24T19:28:00.000Z

Hello folks! Sorry it's bin so long. Call it writers block or something. I haven't felt like blogging for a few days.

Tony Capstick died yesterday. I always liked Tony, I met him a few times many years ago when I worked behind the bar of a pub he used to frequent from time to time. A nice guy and a very knowledgeable man. I've enjoyed his radio and TV work for years. He was a legendary drinker and sometimes it interfered with his work, but that was part of the man, sometimes you could tell he was flying by the seat of his pants. An excellent folk singer and performer, even making number three in the charts. He'll be missed by a lot of people round South Yorkshire including me.

2003-10-14T15:28:00.000Z

I've just finished "Ricky" by Ricky Tomlinson. One of the best autobiogs I've read in ages. Get hold of a copy if you can.

2003-10-12T19:25:00.000Z

Here's this week's answers folks!

1. FALSE
2. Sangria
3. Wimbledon
4. Aldershot
5. Black
6. 1950’s (1955)
7. Grosvenor House Hotel
8. Buy One Get One Free
9. Hedgehog
10. Hampshire
11. Ben Elton
12. Oysters
13. 1992
14. Japan
15. February
16. Ecuador
17. John Lennon
18. Superman (by 11 months)
19. Eyam
20. Peter Kay

Tie-break 15.3 seconds

How did you do?

2003-10-09T19:50:00.000Z

It dun't tek long to get to Thursday, does it? Here's yet another quiz:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: There are plans to have a £5 coin in general circulation by April.
2. In the classic Lou Reed hit Perfect Day, what is drunk in the park?
3. Which football club play their home matches at the National Hockey Stadium in Milton Keynes?
4. Which Hampshire town describes itself as "Home of the British Army"?
5. What colour is an angry chameleon – red, black or green?
6. In which decade was Cardiff officially made the capital of Wales?
7. At which hotel on Park Lane, London did the alleged rape take place involving a 17-year-old girl and a number of professional footballers?
8. In the retail trade, what does B.O.G.O.F. stand for?
9. Which small animal is the main ingredient of the traditional gypsy dish "hotchi-witchi"?
10. Until 1974, the Isle of Wight was part of which county?
11. Who wrote the novel “Gridlock”?
12. Which creatures change sex depending on the temperature of the water?
13. NAME THE YEAR: Eleven former Soviet republics form the Commonwealth of Independent States. In football, the England defender Des Walker leaves Nottingham Forest for Sampdoria. Anthea Turner becomes a Blue Peter presenter and Marc Almond has a pop hit with The Days Of Pearly Spencer.
14. In which country will the final Formula One Grand Prix of the season take place on Sunday?
15. In New Orleans, the Mardi Gras festival occurs each year in which month?
16. In which country is Cotopaxi, the highest active volcano in the world?
17. In 2002, who was the only musician to be voted in the top ten in BBC's "Great Briton's" poll?
18. Who is older, Superman or Batman?
19. Which Derbyshire town's inhabitants voluntarily quarantined themselves to prevent the plague from spreading in the 17th century?
20. Who stars in the award-winning series Phoenix Nights just released on Video & DVD?

Tie-break What is the world record for eating three lemons, including skin and pips?

2003-10-08T19:51:00.000Z

What the hell's going on with English football? As Bob said "money, doesn't talk, it swears".

How come so many arseholes are good at football? Compensation for lack of brain cells perhaps?

2003-10-06T00:08:00.000Z

Have some answers then:-

1. TRUE
2. A
3. 43
4. Morocco
5. The Three Feathers
6. Me
7. Paul Merton
8. An Elephant
9. 1995
10. Cambridge
11. Underworld
12. Greece
13. 1956
14. George V
15. 12
16. $100. Larger denominations were withdrawn in 1969.
17. Foil
18. Tombstone, Arizona
19. Antifreeze
20. Bolivia

Tie-break 1965

2003-10-03T19:22:00.000Z

Have some questions:-

1. TRUE OR FALSE: A grasshopper’s ears are in its knees.
2. Which is the only vowel on a standard keyboard that is not on the top row of letters?
3. What number president of the USA is George W Bush?
4. Rabat is the capital of which kingdom?
5. What's the name of the pub in The Royle Family, often referred to but never seen?
6. Which word is featured in the titles of the Beatles' first three singles?
7. Which comic's wife, Sarah Parkinson, died last week aged just 41?
8. Apart from humans, which is the only animal able to perform a headstand?
9. In which year did Robbie Williams leave Take That?
10. Which university has won the boat race on most occasions?
11. What is the title of the new film starring Kate Beckinsale that shares its name with Mike Baldwin's knicker factory in Coronation Street?
12. Which country has repeatedly asked the United Kingdom for the return of the Elgin Marbles?
13. NAME THE YEAR: Third-class was abolished on trains and renamed second-class. Riots broke out in British cinemas during the screening of Rock Around The Clock. Athletes Sebastian Coe and Tessa Sanderson were born and the Olympics were held in Melbourne, Australia.
14. Which British King married Mary of Teck?
15. How many stars on the European flag?
16. Which is the largest denomination dollar bill now in circulation?
17. Only one type of weapon is used in women’s fencing – which?
18. Which town was the scene of the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral?
19. What’s the more common name for the liquid Ethylene Glycol?
20. In which country was the Argentine-born revolutionary Che Guevara shot dead in 1968?

Tie-break In which year was The Munsters first seen on British TV?

2003-10-03T01:12:00.000Z

I'm on this man's side.

2003-10-02T19:39:00.000Z

A guy walked in this lunchtime with a fried egg on his head. "Why've you got a fried egg on your head", I asked. "A boiled 'un wun't stop on", he replied.

2003-10-01T20:01:00.000Z

So now I know the names of the footballers in the current rape story (yes, I searched for it). That isn't the point. It just illustrates how the world has changed in a few short years. The internet now allows us news and information free from censorship and able to bypass the law. We have the ability to instantly access news from other countries not bound by our laws. Generally it's a good thing, we need freedom of information as a protection. However if these guys haven't done anything wrong it doesn't help their reputations.

2003-09-30T19:20:00.000Z

This one is doing the rounds:

Elvish or Orcish What Language Are You?

I got it from Laura, who is getting it from Krip.

2003-09-28T23:27:00.000Z

I've just finished reading She Must Have Known by Brian Masters. Has anyone else read it? I can see a lot of his arguments but I still came away from the book thinking she was involved. However, thinking is not enough to convict. I don't know. What do you think?

2003-09-28T23:20:00.000Z

Here come the answers then. I hope you all got question 10.

1. TRUE
2. Irwin Rommel
3. Fawlty Towers
4. Tesco
5. Def Leppard
6. Petticoat Lane
7. 20 minutes
8. He was a gamekeeper
9. Othello
10. All travelled by Motorbike & Sidecar
11. Sussex
12. Eastenders
13. 1954
14. Pizza Hut
15. A Sporran
16. Indian
17. Johnny Vegas
18. 1972
19. Foreigners
20. Maine

Tie-break 1910

2003-09-26T19:32:00.000Z

Sad to hear of the death of Robert Palmer. The pub we were in Sunday, The Sheffield Boardwalk used to be called The Black Swan in the 70's and Vinegar Joe used to play there from time to time.

2003-09-26T18:52:00.000Z

Hi folks. I realise blogging has been a bit sparse this week but you know how things are sometimes. Well, we're still here and here are this weeks quiz questions:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: Lord Nelson suffered from sea-sickness all his life.
2. Which army commander was known as "The Desert Fox"?
3. On TV, where did Polly Sherman work?
4. Which chain became the most successful shop in UK retail history this week?
5. Which rock group's drummer had his left arm amputated in 1984?
6. How is London's Middlesex Street better known – especially on a Sunday?
7. How many minutes are allowed to each team for cooking on Ready, Steady Cook?
8. In the novel, what was the occupation of Lady Chatterley's Lover?
9. Which board game shares its name with a tragic Shakespearean character?
10. What connects Arthur and Olive from On The Buses, Wallace & Gromit and The Two Fat Ladies?
11. Who were recently crowned English Country Cricket Champions for the first time in their history?
12. Robbie Williams once appeared as an extra in which soap?
13. NAME THE YEAR: Bob Geldof is born. Rationing finally ends in Britain. Seven Brides For Seven Brothers is the new ultimate western musical and I Love Lucy hits TV screens.
14. Footballers Gareth Southgate, Stuart Pearce and Chris Waddle advertised which company on TV after missing penalties for England?
15. What’s the name of the pouch worn in front of a Scottish kilt?
16. Which Ocean surrounds Christmas Island?
17. After famously selling his wedding photographs to Viz for a £1 last year, which comedian has split from his wife Kitty Donnelly?
18. In which year did Mouldy Old Dough by Lieutenant Pigeon reach No.1 in the UK singles charts?
19. What is Xenophobia the fear of?
20. What's the only American state with just one syllable?

Tie-break In which year was the first Rugby Union International played at Twickenham?

Tell ya tomorrer.

2003-09-22T20:15:00.000Z

So, last night Doris and I sallied forth to the Sheffield Boardwalk for an evening of fun and frolics, accompanied by sons Chris and Robert, Chris's girlfriend Claire, and my mate Gary. Arriving around eight, there were only a few people waiting outside for the place to open. Once inside (having paid £14 apiece, worth every penny) we got drinks and settled to watch the "clocking" ritual. It always happens at gigs that bring the old 'uns out. You can see people checking each other out, looking for faces they remember from gigs long past, checking T-shirts to see who's wearing what, and who sports the oldest tour shirt. I do it too. Can't help it.

The support band were uninspiring, a bit too 70's bedsit stuff for me. Apparently they're normally a rock band but last night they were playing an acoustic gig. The bass player played some nice acoustic bass but throughout the set he looked as thought he'd rather be somewhere else. Sorry but it didn't do it for me.

The place began to fill up and Doris took up a position right at the front. Soon Leslie West ambled up the few steps to the stage to cheers, followed by Corky Laing and Richie Scarlett. Leslie is still a quite a big guy, and has an incredible stage presence, filling it and forcing your attention. We were treated to a full and varied set, featuring songs from the new album Mystic Fire as well as songs from throughout their career, especially classics "Theme From An Imaginary Western", "Nantucket Sleighride" and the encore "Mississippi Queen". I think Corky Laing is probably the best drummer I have ever seen live (cue old man voice: and I've seen a few I can tell you!), constantly providing a solid foundation for the music that is Mountain, the three of them blending perfectly, Richie Scarlett playing a far meaner bass than I remember from the last tour, Leslie combining rhythm and lead guitar effortlessly. This band cooks! The many years of working together were evident as Leslie and Corky bounced off each other, instinctively knowing where the other was going (leaving Richie to try and follow which he did brilliantly). Doris was loving every moment waving her arms about and yelling her approval. This fact did not go unnoticed by the band and after a couple of numbers Corky reached behind his kit and pulled out a copy of the new book written by Leslie and himself. In a play of throwing it at Leslie, he threw it across to Doris, which she clutched to her person instantly. After the gig and as the band were leaving the stage Corky came over to Doris and gave her one of his drumsticks. I thought she was going to wet herself! Then the guitar tech passed her one of Leslie's guitar picks from the mic stand.

After the gig there was a meet and greet so we got to have a few words with the band and get a few things signed. Doris got to kiss Corky which pleased her no end.

Later, the curry was excellent (Mixed Kebab and Chicken Karahi for me) and the wine quite nice. An excellent night and one Doris will never forget.

A rare post from Doris

Are mountain the sexiest band ever? Yes!

2003-09-21T16:22:00.000Z

Sunday afternoon. I must admit to being a little alcoholically influenced. The pub footbal team won 4-1 today. Third game, two draws and a win. They're a good bunch of lads who like to get a few lagers down after the match when we provide Yorkshire Puddings (you'll notice that as a true Yorkshireman capital letters are accorded!) and roast potatoes. The football lads gave Doris a bottle of wine this lunchtime as a thank you. That's when running a little community pub feels worthwhile.

Colleen and Paul came and sat outside this lunchtime with their daughter Cady Lee (I know). She's now 10 weeks old and has a beaming smile. Another couple were outside with their three year old Ellie. She spent some time explaining to me that the little furry animal hanging around her neck on a string was called Sally. Her Dad went on to explain to me that every toy Ellie had was called Sally. It's been a good afternoon, I even worked behind the bar for a bit! Tonight we're going to see the incredible Mountain led by the incredible Leslie West. There's still good bits amongst the shit you know.

2003-09-21T01:45:00.000Z

We're listening to a bit of Blaster Bates at the moment. Bloody funny! I remember seeing him live in 1976. Shit I'm old.

2003-09-19T01:26:00.000Z

Thoughts to anyone near this bugger.

2003-09-19T01:01:00.000Z

At the moment Doris is reading She Must Have Known by Brian Masters. It's about Rose West. I'll let you know if it's any good. I'm still with James Herbert at the moment, I don't seem to have much time for reading at the moment (too busy reading all your interesting blogs I guess).

Still enjoying the Dylan album.

2003-09-19T00:51:00.000Z

Doris and I are listening to Bob Dylan's Live 1975 which is No.5 in the Bootleg Series. It's been out for almost a year but I only bought it today. It's brilliant! This is why I like Dylan. A bit of Mick Ronson too. Bliss!

2003-09-17T23:24:00.000Z

Well done Yoko. A very brave statement. I think John would approve.

2003-09-17T20:45:00.000Z

Thanks to the good people out there in Blogland mainly Raised By Chaffinches and a helpful crowd, I have too discovered images. It's great to be alive Jim!

2003-09-17T19:40:00.000Z

I'm going to see Mountain at the weekend. Last time they were brilliant. I'm looking forward to it.

2003-09-16T17:40:00.000Z

Yuggut spung! Dik nerbert ud shob zim dok lebbut!

I just thought I'd put it in my own words.

2003-09-14T23:36:00.000Z

I can't help it. I still like oral sex. I'm talking to Doris about it now. She thinks I shouldn't tell you. "You don't have to ram it down their throats", she opined (that's a shit hot word innit?). Doris is quite naive you now. Ha ha, I still can't believe she said it. Nor can she now. It's a herbal thing.

2003-09-13T19:05:00.000Z

I'm wandering. Here's a man that seems to have been with me all my life. The incomparable Rolf Harris. I go back to Sun Arise and its B side Someone's Pinched My Winkles. Brilliant entertainer.

Remember Mr Pastry?

I like the music on this site, as well as the whisky.

2003-09-13T18:21:00.000Z

Shall we have some quiz answers? Yes we shall.

1. TRUE
2. Dot Cotton
3. 44
4. Uruguay
5. 2
6. Ford Anglia
7. Grace Kelly
8. South Korea
9. The Herbs
10. Rugby
11. Wordsworth
12. 1986
13. Atlas
14. Women
15. Sgt. Bilko
16. Lewis Carroll
17. Desperate Dan
18. Prince Harry
19. Green
20. Patella

Tie-break 979 m

"The Girls" won with 17. They also won a free drink for being nearest the tie-break. £250 in the tubes but nobody found it.

2003-09-13T01:07:00.000Z

I'm just listening to "Vivaldi" by Curved Air. It takes me back to the early seventies when we called it progressive music. It seemed so important at the time. I wish I had that passion now really. I've been accused recently of being stuck in a time warp musically, and based on my blog, that's true. Now I'm listening to "Heartbreaker" by Grand Funk Railroad, haven't heard this in a long time. Yes, my tastes tend to lie in the late sixties/early seventies bands and artists but I like all kinds of stuff. Stereophonics, Counting Crows, Oasis, Blur, The Proclaimers, U2, I don't know all kinds of shit old and new. Yes, mainly it's the old stuff, but hell I'm 49, I'm pre-Stylophone! On the whole though being a guitar player I prefer music played on traditional instruments rather than the sampled and synthed stuff, but what the hell, there's room for us all!

2003-09-12T19:05:00.000Z

I'd just like to be here right now.

Goodbye Johnny Cash. You were always in there mate. God Bless.

2003-09-11T20:27:00.000Z

Quiz night again. Here we go:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: There are more chickens than people in England.
2. Which of the following characters was NOT in the first episode of Eastenders – Nick Cotton, Dot Cotton, Angie Watts?
3. How many days is David Blaine planning to spend in his box?
4. In which country is the port of Fray Bentos?
5. What is the only even Prime number?
6. Which model of car flies Harry and his mate Ron to Hogwarts in Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets?
7. Who was the first actress to appear on a postage stamp?
8. Which country produces Hyundai cars?
9. Which children’s TV programme featured characters called: Bayleaf the gardener, Dill the dog and Sage the Owl?
10. William Webb Ellis is credited with inventing which game?
11. Which poet is buried in Grasmere churchyard?
12. NAME THE YEAR: Cabinet ministers Michael Heseltine and Leon Brittan resign from the government over the Westland helicopter affair. Prince Andrew marries Sarah Ferguson. Tom Cruise woos Kelly McGillis in the film Top Gun and The Bangles reach No 1 with Manic Monday.
13. In Mythology, who did Zeus punish by being made to support the heavens with his head and hands?
14. Which of the sexes can hear better – men or women?
15. Who was the most famous man to come out of Fort Baxter?
16. Who wrote the poem Jabberwocky?
17. Which comic character lived in Cactusville?
18. Which member of the Royal family was born on September 15th 1984?
19. Of the seven colours of the rainbow, which one is in the middle?
20. Which bone is between the tibia and the femur?

Tie-break How many metres high is Angel Falls, the world’s highest waterfall?

2003-09-11T18:25:00.000Z

It must be a bad day for a lot of people today. Sympathies and love.

2003-09-10T23:46:00.000Z

"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-09-10T23:29:00.000Z

Whilst still waiting to dip back into Tolkien I have started re-reading Others by James Herbert. Weird. Doris is still Walking The Dales with Mike Harding.

2003-09-10T18:40:00.000Z

Panic over. J-Walk's reconsidered. I really like blogs.

2003-09-09T20:59:00.000Z

Alas, the end of J-Walk's blog. Where now for my daily fix of all things different?

Isn't blogging a strange pastime? Ego must play a large part. The desire to shout and be heard. Constantly checking our site counters for the daily hit result. It's a really friendly thing, I consider you all friends, all well known but well unknown, only fleetingly joined in this strange common hobby. I look forward to my daily "rounds" of my favourite blogs, reading other people's feelings, opinions, rants and raves etc. I've learned things through blogging, loads of things. Stuff I would not have known but for reading blogs. There are hundreds of thousands of us out in here yet we move in fairly small circles, adding a new friend to our lists from time to time. Finding a new "top" blog can be like a breath of fresh air, a chance to learn, to laugh, to disagree, to love, to flirt maybe or discuss whatever your little heart desires. I'm a well known "old hippy" but I think we now finally have the Global Village. And you and I are part of it. Innit fun?

2003-09-08T19:29:00.000Z

When she was six, our daughter Jenny wrote this poem. It's been on the wall ever since:

Red is a apple

Red is a rose

Red feels warm

Red feels brave

Red smells like roses

Red tastes lovely and smells lovely

Red strawberries

Red is like fire

Red is a red sun

Red feels good

Red feels nice

Red is like jelly

Red tastes like tomatoes

I love it (and her).

2003-09-08T18:54:00.000Z

The Fast Show was one of my favourite shows.

2003-09-08T01:41:00.000Z

On this day in Rock

1956 Eddie Cochran signed a one year recording contract with Liberty Records.

1965 The advertisement announcing auditions for the Monkees appeared in Variety magazine in Los Angeles.

I've just had some digestive biscuits with mayonnaise. Quite nice, in a stoned sort of way.

2003-09-08T00:26:00.000Z

Good Morning! Herbally challenged (with a mixture of resin) as usual. I keep encountering blogs where people offer 50 facts about themselves (or something similar). I want to add one myself but I'm not sure I could find fifty facts I could safely share.

You know, these days I can't imagine Sundays without The Broons and Oor Wullie. I enjoy The Sunday Post.

I still like oral sex. There's fact no.s 1, 13, 32, and 46.

Doris is currently re-reading Walking The Dales by Mike Harding. It's good. I've still not settled into a book at the moment. I'm jumping back and forth from various things I've read many times before.

2003-09-07T02:51:00.000Z

Just seeing this has quite depressed me. I don't think any of us can begin to imagine the pressure these people must have been under. I hope things work out for them.

2003-09-05T19:59:00.000Z

Thanks to Laura over at Oysters and Pearls for this:

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-09-05T19:07:00.000Z

I was just idly looking at this when I suddenly thought what the f**k am I doing watching this! I am turning into a very sad person. Help!

2003-09-05T14:47:00.000Z

You never know, I might get a job as a desert rat! 122 times an hour. Gizza job!

2003-09-04T19:35:00.000Z

Sorry there's been no sensible posts this week. It's a stressful time. We're leaving the pub. Six years is enough and we're losing money hand over fist. It's been in the pipeline for a couple of weeks but I've been in a sort of denial. There are small pubs closing all the time in the north these days, it's how it is at the moment. In some ways Doris and I are looking forward to a rest, in other ways we don't want to go. There's a lot of shit going down at the moment so please excuse if I post some rubbish over the next couple of weeks.

In the meantime here's tonight's quiz questions:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: In the Falkland Islands, there are 200 sheep for every person.
2. Which Premiership club, have a brand of whisky emblazoned across their shirts?
3. From a castle in which country did a gang of art thieves recently steal a Leonardo da Vinci masterpiece believed to be worth up to £50 million?
4. Which classic 70's song begins: "There she stood in the street, smiling from her head to her feet"?
5. Who was the handler of TV puppet Spit the Dog?
6. What was the more familiar name of William H Bonney?
7. Which vegetable is known in the USA as the eggplant?
8. What 1975 film features the characters of Riff Raff, Magenta and Doctor Frank-n-Furter?
9. According to the advertisement slogan which drink could you enjoy "anytime, anyplace, anywhere"?
10. 1849, Elizabeth Blackwell was the first American woman to become one, and Elizabeth Garrett Anderson followed ten years later in the UK. What was their chosen profession?
11. What type of animal set a new world record when it was sold at auction in Lanark last month (August 21st) for £128,100?
12. The Monkees' only UK No.1 hit single was released in January 1967. What was it?
13. NAME THE YEAR: The Peak District becomes the UK’s first National Park. Diners Club introduces the world’s first credit card. Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 in the FA Cup Final and Clement Attlee forms a Labour Government.
14. What's Bob the Builder's girlfriend called?
15. Which popular author was born James Alfred Wight?
16. If you suffer a myocardial infarction what have you had?
17. How many lines are there in a limerick?
18. What is the name of the US President's private aircraft?
19. Which Agatha Christie play opened in London in 1952?
20. Whom did William Shakespeare marry?

Tie-break According to the 2001 Census how many languages are spoken by residents of the London borough of Newham?

2003-09-02T19:53:00.000Z

On this day in Rock

1982 The house in Surrey owned by Rolling Stone Keith Richards was badly damaged by fire for the second time in nine years.

1962 19-year-old Tommy Roe tops the US charts for the first time with his own composition "Sheila".

Birthdays

1927 Russ Conway (Trevor Sandford)
1951 Mik Kaminski (ELO/Violinski)

Right now I am mostly eating Duck with Pineapple and Pickled Ginger (and a spring roll). Pass the Soy sauce!

2003-09-01T19:34:00.000Z

10 Things You Might Not Know

The custom of carrying a flaming torch from Athens to the site of the Olympic Games was started by Adolf Hitler in 1936.

All the pet hamsters in the world are descended from a single wild golden hamster found in Syria in 1930.

The only state in the world with a nil birth rate is the Vatican City.

Ninkasi was the Sumerian goddess of beer. (Top girl!)

Leonardo Da Vinci drew designs for a flushing toilet and a helicopter hundreds of years before they were produced.

The total cost of building the Eiffel Tower was recouped in visitors' entrance fees a year after it had been finished.

Lea & Perrins Worcestershire Sauce is aged for two years before it is bottled.

The word "bride" comes from an ancient German word meaning "the one who cooks" (I've just got to convince Doris!).

Catherine de'Medici ordered all ladies at court to have a waist of not more than 13 inches.

The desert rat (nice photos) can have sex as often as 122 times an hour (The lucky b****rd!).

I couldn't think of anything to write. It's been a non-day really.

2003-08-30T15:26:00.000Z

You've got to see Les Miserascals. Courtesy of J-Walk.

2003-08-30T15:13:00.000Z

Sex! Straight sex, gay sex, oral sex, anal sex, hot sex, wet sex, oral sex, buggery, shagging, messing with boxer dogs in Suffolk type sex, bonking, rogering, screwing, bend her over a beer barrel type sex (what a giveaway), oral sex (I like oral sex!). Any old kind of sex. I feel better for that.

If that doesn't get me a few fresh hits, nothing will. And now for the quiz answers:

1. FALSE
2. Tokyo (the capital used to be Kyoto)
3. Cannabis (good thing too!)
4. 1990
5. Model T Ford
6. Five
7. Dwight Eisenhower
8. Hyde Park
9. Big
10. The London Eye
11. Wuthering Heights
12. George V
13. 1986
14. Nothing
15. Oyster
16. Snakes
17. Northern
18. Crete
19. Orange
20. Phosphorous

Tie-break 1982

2003-08-28T23:25:00.000Z

Here's another one. It's not that far out in some ways.

Your Name: Fred Brunswick
Your Date of Birth: 05/04/1954
Your Question or Information: Where next?

Past

Lagaz - Intuition, imagination, success in studies, creativity, vitality and passion (especially for women).

Present

Raido - Safe travel, movement, obtaining justice in an issue, used to keep a situation from stagnating.

Future

Thurisaz - Beginning new projects, luck-the hand of fate helping you, protection, the hammer of Thor, opening gateways.

Cast the runes here:
Rune Caster

2003-08-28T14:23:00.000Z

Another Thursday is upon us and another quiz night. Here's tonight's:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: Thanks to modern production methods, there are exactly the same number of beans in every tin of Heinz beans. Currently 3763 in each tin.
2. Which capital city is an anagram of its predecessor?
3. 36 hospital trusts throughout Britain are set to use which drug as a post-surgery painkiller on patients?
4. In which year was Margaret Thatcher ousted as British Prime Minister?
5. Which car was the first to be built solely by mass-production methods?
6. How many times a day do devoted Muslims pray towards Mecca?
7. Who was the president of the USA at the beginning of the 1960's?
8. The foundation stone for the Diana, Princess of Wales memorial fountain was recently lowered into place six years after her death. Where is the memorial fountain situated?
9. In which film did Tom Hanks play a boy transformed into a grown man?
10. What has been voted London’s top "tourist attraction" for the second year running?
11. What was the title of Emily Bronte's only novel?
12. Who was the first monarch of the House of Windsor?
13. NAME THE YEAR: The BBC hospital drama series Casualty begins. The Tories introduce the Community Charge (Poll Tax). A nuclear disaster occurs at Chernobyl and Liverpool beat Everton in an all Merseyside FA Cup Final.
14. What does Fred Flintstone wear on his feet?
15. A "shuck" is the outer shell of which sea creature?
16. In Greek mythology, what was Medusa's hair made of?
17. What does the letter "N" stand for in QANTAS, the Australian international airline?
18. Which is the largest of the Greek islands and the fifth largest in the Mediterranean?
19. In judo, what colour belt follows yellow?
20. Which element has the chemical symbol P?

Tie-break In what year did the first execution by lethal injection take place in America?

Not great questions but they'll have to do for tonight.

2003-08-27T14:16:00.000Z

Yesterday I nipped out to buy Lord Of The Rings - The Two Towers. It was very quiet in the pub last night so we managed to close more or less on time and ordered a curry to eat whilst watching the film. Great curry, but I'm suffering today. No, I'll rephrase that. Doris is suffering as a result of my curry. I must admit the smell's a bit much. Enjoyed the film again. Roll on December 17th!

2003-08-26T00:21:00.000Z

I found this on Birdman's site over at Raised by Chaffinches. I had to try it.

free enneagram test

2003-08-25T01:24:00.000Z

I'm listening to The Beatles Complete Rooftop Concert from January 1969. You know, they weren't a bad band. Could've gone far.

2003-08-25T00:29:00.000Z

Herbally challenged and feeling nostalgic I'm drawn to The Station Inn at Ribblehead. I've had some good times in 'ere. My local dales pub throughout the seventies was The Sportsman's Inn, Cowgill, Dent. Oh, let's do the others then. The Sun Inn and The George & Dragon in Dent loom very large in my legend. The Moorcock over at Garsdale was also an old haunt. They've all altered over the years but they all hold many memories. While we're in the area, have a look at this. Throughout the seventies and early eighties some friends and I had a farmhouse about 300 yards (or metres) from the north end of Blea Moor Tunnel. We used it every available weekend and holiday, but as there were quite a few of us involved in the "cottage" as we called it there was someone there most of the time. We could sleep 19 at a push, providing you brought your own bedding. We never hit 19 but got close a time or two.

2003-08-23T16:35:00.000Z

OK. Here's the answers to Thursday night's quiz. Nicola, our barmaid won with 14.

1. FALSE (He was 11!)
2. The Hutton Inquiry
3. JR Ewing
4. Wales
5. Fulham
6. When I Need You
7. James Coburn
8. Crosse & Blackwell
9. The Queen
10. She shrank
11. Levi Strauss
12. 1980’s (1988)
13. 1956
14. The Owl
15. White
16. Penthouse
17. The Merchant Of Venice
18. Havana
19. Budgie
20. The Bad

Tie-break 66 million

2003-08-22T15:43:00.000Z

I decided to give BBC Test The Nation a go. I scored 116. I estimated 130. Serves me right. Give it a try. Is your IQ what you think? It takes about 20 minutes.

2003-08-22T15:08:00.000Z

This is a good site. The Museum Of Hoaxes. Helps sort out the rubbish we all read. Meanwhile here's a strange game.

2003-08-22T00:49:00.000Z

For a while now Doris has been ploughing through several books explaining what really nice guys the Kray twins and their friends were. I'm in-between books at present, flitting between a few things like old Oor Wullie annuals, computer mags like Web User (great for the price!), and glancing at a few local history books. What should I tackle next? Should I drop back into Lord Of The Rings in preparation for the third film (I've waited thirty years for this!), or should I pursue literary pastures new? I like biographies, especially musicians. What's good to read at the moment?

2003-08-21T19:39:00.000Z

Bloody hell, it's Thursday already, and another quiz night. Here's tonight's questions. Sorry, they're very UK tonight.

1. TRUE OR FALSE: The youngest ever Pope was 10 years old.
2. What is the name of the inquiry into the death of weapons expert Dr. David Kelly?
3. Whose shooting in 1980 did 27 million people witness?
4. In terms of population, which is the largest Northern Ireland or Wales?
5. The new Premiership season kicked off on Saturday with 33-year-old Chris Coleman as manager of which club, the youngest manager in the league's history?
6. Name Leo Sayer's only No.1 UK hit single.
7. Which member of The Dirty Dozen was also a member of The Magnificent Seven?
8. Which food company makes Branston Pickle?
9. Who has appeared on the cover of the Radio Times more than any other person?
10. What happened to Alice after she drank from the bottle labelled "Drink Me"?
11. What company is the largest clothing manufacturer in the world?
12. In which decade were dog licences abolished in Britain?
13. NAME THE YEAR: Premium Bonds are launched. The Eurovision Song Contest is held for the first time. Around The World In Eighty Days wins the Oscar for Best Picture and there are double celebrations in Manchester – United winning the League and City the FA Cup.
14. Which is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink?
15. Which colour moves first in chess – black or white?
16. After more than 38 years, which men's magazine looks like disappearing from the top shelf for good after the American company that owns it filed for bankruptcy last week?
17. Which Shakespeare play features the characters Shylock and Portia?
18. What’s the capital of Cuba?
19. What was the name of the helicopter written about by Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York?
20. In the 1967 film, was Lee Van Cleef The Good, The Bad or The Ugly?

Tie-break To the nearest million, how many CD singles were sold in the UK during the year 2000?

2003-08-19T19:03:00.000Z

The things we do eh?

Thanks to J-Walk for this.

2003-08-17T15:30:00.000Z

Bookcrossing. What a bloody good idea. I hope it spreads. What do others think?

2003-08-15T23:32:00.000Z

Let's have some quiz answers. Last night's winner in the pub got 14 correct. How did you do?

1. TRUE
2. The Atkins Diet
3. 70’s
4. Italy
5. Stalin
6. Sir Cliff Richard's
7. Sculpture
8. My Side
9. Mississippi
10. Gordon Brown (Tony Blair swapped with Gordon Brown because 11 Downing Street had more space for the children)
11. Cedar or Fig
12. 1928
13. Mozart
14. Going Underground by The Jam
15. Mark Twain
16. Orville
17. Star Wars
18. Two
19. 12
20. Louisville

Tie-break 332

2003-08-14T20:06:00.000Z

Here's the first bike I had when I was sixteen. It was a 1961 model bought in a wheelbarrow for a fiver. Me and my Dad rebuilt it and I got it on the road in May 1970 just after my birthday. We spent some happy times together.

2003-08-14T19:36:00.000Z

Meccano. This takes me back. I played with mine for hours at a time. I remember my Dad pinching bits regularly to fashion bits to keep his old Ford van going.

2003-08-14T12:54:00.000Z

Don't these Thursday's come round fast? It's quiz night again tonight. A chance to win a gallon of beer and the possibility of winning £250. Here's tonight's questions. Answers tomorrow(ish).

1. TRUE OR FALSE: The four largest planets in our solar system have rings round them.
2. More than 2 million Britons are currently on which controversial diet?
3. In which decade did pocket calculators make their first appearance?
4. It was announced last week that scientists from which country have cloned a horse for the first time?
5. Who was oldest – Hitler, Mussolini or Stalin?
6. Tony Blair and his family were pictured last week holidaying in Barbados, where they are taking a holiday at who's mansion?
7. With which art form would you associate Henry Moore?
8. What’s the name of David Beckham's autobiography?
9. On which river did Huckleberry Finn's adventures take place?
10. Who lives at 10 Downing Street?
11. Name one of the two types of tree most often mentioned in the Bible?
12. NAME THE YEAR: In Britain the voting age is reduced from 30 to 21. Steamboat Willie – a short cartoon by 27-year-old Walt Disney makes Mickey Mouse a star. Everton are champions of England and Bruce Forsyth is born.
13. Which composer grew up in a palace, travelled the world as a child prodigy, and was buried a pauper?
14. Which hit from the 80's contains the lyric "and the public gets what the public wants"?
15. Who wrote "The Adventure Of Huckleberry Finn"?
16. What was the name of the first ventriloquist's dummy to have a top ten hit in the UK charts?
17. Which film was the first to use Dolby Surround Sound?
18. How many species of elephant are there in the world?
19. In centimetres, what is the diameter of a standard CD – 12, 14 or 16?
20. In which city is the Kentucky Derby held?

Tie-break How many islands are in Fiji?

2003-08-13T15:30:00.000Z

I noticed on the net last night that it was time for the annual Perseids meteor shower, so after we closed the pub up (it's fairly quiet on a Tuesday, but STILL they don't wanna go 'ome) and Doris, Jenny and I wandered off into Derbyshire on the hope of getting away from the light pollution. We ended up near the top of "Surprise", near Hathersage, in Derbyshire. We had a really nice walk in the dark, but I'm afraid, no Perseids. The main problem probably was the almost full moon which lit the whole bloody sky up! Good view of Mars though, as it's very close to the moon at the moment. Anyone else have a look? When we got back Jenny was tired out and took some waking up to get her out of the car and up to bed, but she thoroughly enjoyed her 2am wanderings in the Peak District. Little John, Robin Hood's faithful servant, is buried in Hathersage Churchyard. It's worth a look, whether you believe it or not.

2003-08-10T17:37:00.000Z

This is my favourite tree. Think what it's seen and stood through. I really hope it's an Ent.

2003-08-10T16:26:00.000Z

This is the time of tattoos as customers come in the pub in shorts and trainers. It's an instant way of learning something about someone. In our place Elvis is a popular tattoo, as are a couple of football related ones. Some of the fun ones are when you see someone whose arms are covered with tattoos of girls' names, each one covered up after the relationship had floundered. We have a couple of customers with up to six disguised names on their arms. I think I'd have gone for something like "My Love". One size fits all. A few nights ago someone was sat there proudly displaying a new tattoo just above his ankle. "Look at this" he said proudly displaying his leg. Jodie, one of the girls instantly and drily replied "You wanna gerra plaster on that!". Oh how we laughed. It was a tattoo of his dog, with it's name "Zak" inscribed beneath it's portrait.

It's bloody hard to keep the beer cellar cool in this weather. The lager's fine though. Not enough customers though.

2003-08-09T19:47:00.000Z

I just remembered, it's time for the quiz answers. I realise you must all be waiting, hoping to get a good score. Well, maybe not. I think the winner got 14 correct. Here's the answers:

1. FALSE
2. John Leslie
3. Geoff Boycott
4. Christians
5. Beverley Hills
6. IBM
7. Mr. Benn
8. Pulse
9. Demi Moore
10. Geri Halliwell
11. A Blue Moon
12. Clavicle (Shoulder blade)
13. 1974
14. Fido
15. Steven Hendry
16. 3
17. Tom & Jerry
18. Australian (accept Tasmanian)
19. Antarctica
20. As Time Goes By

Tie-break 42

As usual, apologies to folk outside the UK for the UK slant to the questions, but that's where we are.

2003-08-09T19:34:00.000Z

You may remember a customer called Fred from a while ago, whose dog died suddenly. Well, as we all expected, he's bought another dog. A dog this time, rather than a bitch. He's renamed him Flynn. He's a 10 month old Staffordshire Bull Terrier. He looks gorgeous and is quite playful. The trouble is he's a chewer. Fred's wife, Margaret, wants the "damn thing out of the house". One of his first conquests was Margaret's mobile phone. Destroyed. Since then there has been a catalogue of disasters. The post of course, ripped beyond recognition, has happened a few times. Great for bills but a bugger for cheques. He's been no respecter either, having demolished his own basket one night. Even Fred's clothes have not escaped, he now being a couple pairs of underpants lighter. Already he loves the dog, but Margaret pretty adamant. It's got to go! As a teenager we had a labrador we got from the RSPCA. It chewed us out of house and home, even managing to chew through the wall one day into my bedroom. How do you stop a dog from chewing you out of house and home, especially when you get a mature dog or one beyond the puppy stage?

2003-08-09T19:06:00.000Z

Here's another little test:

You are Sage the Owl - you enjoy nature but it must
be comfortable. You like things to be
predictable and get upset if they aren't. You
are at your best when relaxed.

Which Herb are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-08-09T16:06:00.000Z

So THIS is what a gobshite is. Then again,according to this glossary.

2003-08-07T20:01:00.000Z

Check this site out. It is indeed rather good.

2003-08-07T15:05:00.000Z

Shall we have us a quiz? Yes. lets:

1. TRUE OR FALSE: Blonde hair grows quicker than dark hair.
2. Which celebrity made an emotional speech outside court last week after being cleared of sex charges?
3. Michael Vaughan was recently named as the new England cricket captain for both one-day and Test matches. Who was the last Yorkshireman to captain England before Michael Vaughan?
4. Are there more Muslims or Christians in the world?
5. Which area of Los Angeles has the postal zip code 90610?
6. Which company’s computer if the current chess champion?
7. Which children’s favourite lived at 52 Festive Road?
8. What’s the name of a pressure wave in a blood vessel which corresponds to the heartbeat?
9. Which Hollywood actress starred in the film Striptease?
10. Who sang Happy Birthday to Prince Charles at his 50th birthday bash?
11. When there are two full moons in the same month, what’s the second one called?
12. Which bone do jockey’s break most?
13. NAME THE YEAR: The world watches Uri Geller’s mind-bending powers. Kojak, the new TV police TV series, quickly gains a cult following. Ian Ball attempts to kidnap Princess Anne and Billy Don’t Be A Hero by Paper Lace tops the UK singles chart.
14. What pet name for a dog is taken from the latin for “I trust”?
15. Who is the most successful Scottish sportsman in history?
16. How many teaspoons go into one tablespoon?
17. Which duo starred in the Oscar winning films "Quiet Please", "The Little Orphan" and "The Milky Way"?
18. What nationality was the actor Errol Flynn?
19. Which is bigger – Europe or Antarctica?
20. In the line in "Casablanca" which is often misquoted as "Play it again, Sam". What song is Sam asked to play?

Tie-break How man different countries drive on the left?

2003-08-07T13:32:00.000Z

Gad it's hot. I'm still re-installing things. Of course, I've now installed anti-virus software and am using to it to hold the stable door shut. Can't find the horse anywhere. Anyway it's got the TV card working again for now.

2003-08-06T01:29:00.000Z

Bad day. I copped a virus (from a Kazaa download). I've spent all day trying to reload everything. Not fun. I've still not got it right (compatability problems). Anyway, I've managed to get the internet connection rolling for tonight. Surfings fun but in this weather it should be here. Mind you I'd only be watching (and admiring the ladies).

2003-08-04T23:56:00.000Z

Doris is Cosette. Typical.

2003-08-04T00:28:00.000Z

I'm Thenardier!
I haven't got a decent bone in my body. I'll do anything for a fast franc, I lie like a rug, and I probably beat your wife. Some people find my blatant amorality (and pretensions to grandeur) amusing, though. Which Les Miserables Character Are You?

Honestly, I answered honestly!

However, apart from the wife-beating I can't really argue.

2003-08-02T18:33:00.000Z

Here's the quiz answers, how come everyone got the Viagra question?

1. TRUE
2. Get Carter
3. Amsterdam
4. Hawaii
5. Otters
6. Like A Virgin by Madonna
7. Roberts
8. Blue
9. £30
10. Spongebob Squarepants
11. Grand Central Station
12. 7
13. 1993
14. The Queen's
15. His right
16. Major James Hewitt
17. Archibald Leach is actor Cary Grant's real name. The others are singers. (Elvis Costello, Bono, Sting)
18. OXO
19. Iron
20. McDonalds

Tie-break 1955

The winner got 15 correct. The nearest to the tie-break put 1954. How did you do?

2003-08-02T13:24:00.000Z

Ladies, Gentleman and fellow bloggers. We are a broadband connection! At last, reasonable speed. Anyone ready for the quiz answers?

2003-08-01T20:04:00.000Z

I was in the bar earlier and Sean, one of the regulars was in. He was talking about someone he knew called "Arrerback". Eventually I could resist it no longer, "Why did you call him Arrerback?". "Cuz o't way 'e walked" said Sean, "Chest stuck aht, shoulders pulled reight back. 'E walked like Robin 'ood 'ad shot a fuckin' arrer straight in 'is back!" It's an education you know.

2003-07-31T15:29:00.000Z

Day two of the cellar painting. Had to break off to write tonight's quiz. Here it is. Good luck!

1. TRUE OR FALSE: The “99” ice cream got its name because the flake in it is 99mm long.
2. Which 1971 gangster film starring Michael Caine has recently been remade starring Sylvester Stallone?
3. In which city did John & Yoko famously hold their honeymoon in bed?
4. Which is the most southerly US state?
5. What type of animals live in holts?
6. Which song includes the lyrics “I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through. Didn’t know how lost I was until I found you.”?
7. What was Margaret Thatcher’s maiden name?
8. What colour is a Viagra tablet?
9. As from December 1st 2003, how much will drivers be instantly fined if they are caught using a mobile phone behind the wheel?
10. Which of the following is a cartoon character on children’s TV – Loofah Longpants, Spongebob Squarepants or Lionel Long Johns?
11. The world’s largest railway station can be found in New York. What is it called?
12. On the official Highway Code sign that warns of loose chippings on the road, how many stones are being thrown up by the passing car – 5, 7 or 9?
13. NAME THE YEAR: Canada and Turkey elected their first female Prime Ministers. The Queen decided to pay Income Tax. Tesco launched its “Value” range of basic low-priced products and, in the US, the Brady Act was passed, as an attempt at securing some sort of gun control.
14. 17-year-old Barney Keen famously took his pants down in whose back garden last week?
15. Under which arm did Rod Hull hold Emu?
16. Who tried to sell the love letters Diana Princess of Wales had sent him for £10 million? (both names)
17. Which is the odd one out – Declan McManus, Archibald Leach, Paul Hewson, Gordon Sumner?
18. What product did Lynda Bellingham advertise on TV for 12 years?
19. Which element has the chemical symbol Fe?
20. In 1996, what overtook Coca-Cola as the best known brand name in the world?

Tie-break In which year did George de Mestral invent Velcro?

And now I think I'll have a couple of afternoon pints. See you later.

2003-07-30T19:08:00.000Z

I've been painting the beer cellar today. I'm covered in paint and looking forward to a bath. Our beer cellar walls suffer from damp so it needs repainting fairly regularly. Due to the blocked drains in the cellar the painting is long overdue. It's good to see nice white walls again. Hey ho.